Pondering on ‘guidance’ as a psychic ability – the image we probably have around receiving guidance is that it comes with a fanfare of angelic trumpeting, or perhaps from a thunderbolt from above, or the descent of a column of light (or one of many other visual metaphors for ‘divine intervention’ and ‘spiritual visitations’ that we seem to take for granted as being the bread and butter of spiritual work, coming as we do from a Judeo-Christian and also post-spiritualist culture).
But perhaps one of the most important forms of guidance is disquiet. The feeling of worry, unease, of gnawing. Those states have been traditionally considered BAD by the new age movement, but as I’ve been discovering for myself (and I’m sure many other people have similar thoughts), the new age consensus is still heavilly dualistic and judgemental, its only marginally ‘better’ than the Abrahamic spirituality its arisen out of and is ostensibly there to replace as the superior thing.
So what happens if we allow ourselves to be gnawed, so to speak?
Firstly, it takes us out of dualistic splitting, of fighting against a part of our experience – the sense of anxiety, of fear, which is often there as a background feeling or state, and which is anathema to many modern spiritual philosophies (because it’s all about the love and light, right?).
There’s a wholeness and healing in letting yourself be afraid and even terrified; or rather, of allowing yourself to experience those feelings and states instead of trying to drown them out or shut them down.
There’s also the possibility that such feelings can then be part of the sacred – as surely EVERYTHING must ultimately be; and as such can be vehicles of guidance. When those feelings are allowed, there’s both a relaxation (because the ironic paradox is that it’s only by allowing feelings, and letting go of resistance to them, that they clear and release), and also a heightening, a keening, a coming into focus.
And what do we see when it is in focus?
We see the troubles of the world, of our time and place and tribe.
We see and feel and know what’s up, what’s going down, what ain’t right.
We may also know there’s not too much we can do about it, or that “it just is how it is” (which as well as both a statement of supreme sanity and madness, *there’s* a paradoxical statement for you..!). And that knowledge can bring us a kind of peace, or a kind of despair (and if despair, then it’s a potentially useful despair, that can take us into heartbreak, the most primordial and powerful conditions of awakening).
So, dear friends: let yourselves be bothered. Let yourselves worry. You needn’t believe the fears and worries and ruminations whole heartedly, but don’t dismiss them either. Don’t naysay the internal voices just because they are “negative”, and because you’ve been taught to deny the negative and/or seek the positive only.
Truth can be sweet and beautiful, and it can be bitter too.
Don’t sweep away your body and being’s sympathetic pangs to the troubles of the world; don’t shut down the inner voice of wisdom because it whispers of the woes of the world. Guidance, love and god comes to you in and through all channels, because everything *is* love and god. Your gut is as wise and ‘of god’ as your crown is, and your fear and collapse is as sacred as your radiance is (truly, they’re just different phases of the same cosmic dance of the blossoming and closing of your being).
Truly, your nature is love.
(If you would like to work with this as a topic, and are in London, you are welcome to attend the workshop “The Woes of the World” on the 11th of September)